WWE is the worldwide leader in sports entertainment(their word for pro wrestling... DONT CALL IT WRESTLING! ITS SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!!) Vince Mcmahon's public corporation defines the "major league" or this sort of product. He actually has had a pretty solid monopoly on the market since 2001 when he purchased his closest competitor World Championship Wrestling(WCW)... a company that nearly put Vince's WWE (then WWF) out of business. Since then a new competitor has tried to become second banana and this company is even happy to admit they are second best.
Total Nonstop Action wrestling (TNA)... a terrible name for a terrible company that literally devours all of the WWE's vomitted up talent. Guys thats got released, has beens, never will bes, even former stars end up here along with TNAs "solid" core of self developed "talent". To compare WWE and TNA to each other is like comparing the New York Yankees to the Columbus Clippers.
ANYWAY... I keep tabs on both soap operas one is bad sometimes(WWE) and one is REALLY REALLY BAD most of the time(TNA). Tonight I decided to watch a pay per view from TNA wrestling. It featured many guys that I had wished were still in the big leagues of WWE. Including my favorite wrestler Jeff Hardy. Here is what I witnessed in all of its horror.
Match one: Bully Ray vs. Tommy Dreamer
A chook wearing tough guy vs. a guy who has problems with his fingers
These guys have some history dating back to a company named ECW(I wont go into that). Bully Ray in WWE was in a tag team named the Dudley Boys...
his name there was Bubba Ray then WWE canned the Dudley Boys. They went to TNA under the name team 3D. He called himself Brother Ray.. they teamed for a while had "success" and recently he turned against his partner adopting the name Bully Ray...
NOT BILLY RAY.This match started off as two rivals in a "hardcore" match..which means they use props to beat each other up in the ring (stop signs, kendo sticks, cookie sheets or in this case A SEXUAL BLOWUP DOLL) until Bully Ray's old tag team partner Devon has his 20 plus year old sons come to the ring to distract him. Devon puts his old partner through a table (cuz their old catchphrase was "Devon get the tables") Tommy Dreamer (who is a fat old fuck) pins him and wins. However the fans lost here. Good only 6 more shitty matches to talk about.
Match 2: Angelina Love and Winter vs. Sarita and Rosita (for the women's tag team titles)
I dont want to get into how terrible it is to have a WOMEN'S tag team division. So here goes... the match sucked. Angelina is torn between her tag team partner Winter(another WWE cast off known as Katie Lea Burchill) and her faction partner Velvet Sky..
Yeah her... the hottest girl in "rasslin"..Anyway Velvet comes down to the ring durin the match to cause a distraction and its costs Angelina and Winter the titles(Winter and Velvet have had "friction")... whoopidee doo. No one cares... The female Mexicools win the titles and are ugly.
Match 3: Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan(First blood match)
yo essay... AHHHHRRRRGGGHHHHH
These guys were tag team partners until Matt Morgan (another WWE reject who is 7 foot tall and a former American Gladiator known as "Beast") attacked Air-Non-Days and he was "out of TNA" for a while. He supposedly went to Mexico became a big star(cuz of some contract Mexico's AAA wrestling had with TNA) and came back for revenge. Another joke of a match. A "fan" ran into the ring mid match and injured the referee. Morgan made Air-Non-Days bleed by fiddling his chin or something. But he got blood on himself. So a new ref comes in to officiate and sees the blood on Morgan's chest and claims its Morgan bleeding. A shit finish again! YAY! Some dumb ass people actually paid 40 dollars to watch this show live.
Match 4: Jeremy Buck vs. Max Buck vs. Kaz vs. Robbie E (Ultimate X match for the X division title)
I dont even want to talk about this one... Jeremy and Max Buck are tag team partners known as "Generation Me", Kaz looks like an Antonio Banderas wannabe and Robbie E is a gimmick to rib off Jersey Shore. Obviously...
Ultimate X match means they dangle a title over the ring via ropes and the first one to grab it is the champ.. its probably the worst concept for a match ever..
It was a match full of acrobatic bullshit just to make the crowd go "ooooohhhh" and The Generation ME assholes eventually fought each other... no one cared cuz those guys are like 22 years old. The guy who held the title already won it again.. yawn. It was a bunch of flipiddy doos and oh my gods... its the wrestling equivilent of trapeez. A stupid gimmick and more proof that TNA is just desparate to do anything to draw fans. Not to mentiond all those spots are dangerous as shit. Oh boy Kaz won.. Kaz sucks this match is a stupid gimmick. I hate reliving this show.Match 5: Beer Money Inc. vs. Ink Inc. (for the tag team titles)
OK tag team title on the line... we got two tattooed douchebags. Shannon Moore (A WWE reject) who calls himself the prince of punk but speaks like hes black or urban.. and carries around something he calls the book of Dilligaf(does it look like I give a fuck) TERRIBLE... his partner is just some guy TNA has been training Jesse Neil... ehhh he sucks. Just cuz you have a mowhawk doesnt make you talented. Now.. Beer Money Inc. are great. Mostly because of Robert Roode and that showed in this match. The guy carried the whole thing... his partner James Storm seems to be getting fat. But Roode is like a young Mr. Perfect(80s wrestler)... hes great and because of his preformance.. this was a good match. Sure the other guys chipped in but Roode made this match awesome and seem like it was real.
Match 6: Matt Hardy vs. AJ Styles
I didnt see this one coming but I should have... Matt Hardy recently left WWE because he was tired of being stagnant on the card. He was always considered someone who could carry a match with anyone and make them look good. However he was getting fat.. a consumate professional (unlike his brother) even though Matt purposesly said a bunch of crazy stuff to get fired he was still very professional compared to his drug addict brother. One thing that comes to mind he was showing a safe with cash, a pistol and passports and he was saying THIS IS ALL YOU NEED... Oh and blaming his weight problem on red meat then eating a lot grapes... classic. Never moving up but always being respected. AJ is TNA's golden boy. He IS their best worker period the fucker just cant talk into a mic and sound charismatic. AJ does play a good prick when needed. Anyway.. Matts the bad guy... AJs the good guy... 30 minutes... great match... period. AJ won of course.. its TNA. I don't care how good of a ring general Matt is... his gut is getting Husky Harris big.
Match 7: Mr. Anderson vs. RVD (number one contenders match)
I can hold my hand out... and I can point to myself in pride
I like Mr. Anderson I do... He runs with this "I'm an Asshole" gimmick a little too much(hes also a WWE reject for being unsafe in ring), wearing shirts that say A**hole and what not. I picked this guy and Jeff Hardy as being the future of the WWE like 4 years ago. Now theyre both in TNA because they're both fuck ups. RVD was a WWE champ (I wont go into his ECW BS) but got busted smoking pot and is a proud pot smoker/activist. This was a botchfest... at one point during this match Anderson fucked something up and even said "I meant to do that". It seemed like this match might go somewhere cuz they started to have chemistry together but then the shit fell from the sky. And of course the TNA finish was fucked. Double count out!? On a pay per view for the number one contenders match? Thats what happend. Another turd of a match.
Match 8: THe main event, TNA Champion Sting (who is 51 years old) against former champ Jeff Hardy (who is most likely drunk).
Jeff has all the talent, ability and know how but doesnt care... its sad. Reports say he was arrested after this show. WHo knows what the reason was but what went down was seriously tragic to TNA wrestling. As if they didnt fuck up anything else during the whole show (they fucked it all up)... Jeff didnt come out to his music right away... he was late... he looked fryed... then spent half a minute toying with the audience about where he should throw his shirt to only leave on the ground. Then seriously 2 moves into the match... he was pinned clean by Sting (51 years old)... It was the equivilent of a WWE squash match. Reports say Sting was pissed... I dont care. I just know this was a joke of a show and many people actually paid good money to see it(dumb people obviously I mean come on its TNA).
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